Slowing Down in a Frantic World
by Athina Danilo, LMFT & Published Author of the “Imposter Syndrome Workbook”
“We call it ‘dolce far niente’, the sweetness of doing nothing.” – Eat, Pray, Love – Elizabeth Gilbert
How often do we find ourselves doing nothing? I know that idea often sounds uncomfortable and maybe even impossible to imagine actually doing.
But then again, aren’t we also doing something while we nestle into the sweetness of doing nothing? I believe so. I would like to suggest that in doing “nothing”, you become more present with what is. You exist with what is, without a need to change anything about that very moment, and without the need to forge ahead into the next item on your endless to-do list. You don’t feel the need to plan for the next day and the day after tomorrow. The art of doing nothing is simply slowing down and being more present.
Sometimes we find the concept of being present difficult to incorporate into our lives. Societal pressures fall on us, creating daily demands driven by work, doing, chores, and more work and doing. Even your weekends may feel like another to-do list to check off, as you juggle various plans you’ve made to catch up with loved ones, commitments or that event you said you’d help out with.
Sometimes the fear of being less than or not good enough sets in, leading you into an endless cycle of proving you’re worth to others.
It’s also essential to notice the role of external factors, such as cultural, societal, and financial expectations present in our lives that can further fuel the need to be in the “do-do-do” mode. For example, you may live in a family unit that values various roles, including a “successful” career or putting others before yourself. This can create pressure to do more to tame the worry about not making enough money or being a disappointment to your family and loved ones.
Maybe the idea of taking care of your personal needs by slowing down and resting feels selfish. Societal and financial pressures can add to the mix, as you strive to keep up with your bills and the rising cost of living. Or working to build a life for yourself and/or your family that you’ve always dreamed of.
Given personal and external aspects in your life, it only makes sense that the idea of doing nothing and being present can feel worrisome or just plain impossible. It’s these very fears that can lead you to believe that in doing nothing for a time, you’re going to lose something or miss out on a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. You worry that you’ll fall behind in life, or be deemed as a failure, an imposter, as lazy, or as someone who isn’t trying hard enough.
You may even fear losing yourself without your familiar and frenetic productivity habits
It’s vital to remember that who you are is worth more than what you do, how much money you make, your successes, promotions, or even your accomplishments. It’s not to say that these things don’t matter, and that they don’t have a part in how we define ourselves. But you, as a person, are much more than what you do. You are also valuable in who you are when you are simply being present to yourself, and to life around you.
What does “being present” mean exactly?
Being present isn’t necessarily about creating a space of nothingness, clearing your mind or meditating. It’s about being more intentional and immersed in the present and what exists in that very moment.
Being more present is about shifting from the busyness, chatter, and constant movements around you into a slower pace in your day-to-day life. It’s about being able to slow down and just be versus do, and feel that you are “enough” in that moment, just as you are.
It’s about creating moments and pockets of time when you’re not focused on “what’s next” or being the “most efficient and productive” person you can be. Being present means encouraging yourself to live in the moment and appreciate what exists around you.
How can you cultivate more moments of being present in your daily life?
Creating more moments of “being” versus “doing”, are essential for your overall well-being. Such moments allow for rest, refueling, and a good work-life balance. Taking space from the busyness of everyday life also allows you to prevent burnout, and helps to fuel your passion for life.
Here are a few ways you can be more present in your daily life:
- Journal or reflect on one thing you’re grateful for
- Get in touch with your five senses (e.g., go for a walk and notice what you hear, see, feel, and smell).
- Have a date just with yourself
- Take a yoga class and get in touch with the sensations in your body
- Have an unplanned day of adventure with a loved one
- Watch a movie without any interruptions (tip: put your phone on “do not disturb”)
- Journal about one thing you’re proud of today
- Read a book
- Try a new dish and get in touch with your taste buds
I encourage you to find a moment today or sometime this week to be present, even if it’s a short-lived moment. By inviting in more moments of slowing down and allowing yourself to enjoy the present space you’re in, you’ll experience greater inner peace and freedom from the endless to-do list that so often dominates our lives. This is your invitation to practice “just being”, and to see what happens when you do.