The Attic: A Look into the Therapy Journey
by Rubina Haroutonian, MA, LMFT
I often get asked the question: what is therapy like? Therapy can be quite confusing if one hasn’t experienced it before. What’s the process like? How long is it going to take? Why am I feeling triggered? Why did I hit a wall? It helps to have some guidance for going into unknown territory.
This is how I would describe therapy to someone who hasn’t experienced it before. Imagine that you are at your home. One day, you decide to go to the old, dusty, mildew smelling attic upstairs, filled with cobwebs. The attic is cold, dark, and without much natural light coming through. There are a lot of old stacked cardboard boxes. Some of the boxes are labeled, but many of them are not. Several of the boxes are from relatives, decades ago, and some are newer. You have forgotten many of the items that have been stored away here, over time. You also haven’t seen all of the items that are in the old, dusty cardboard boxes taking up space in your attic that need sorting.
As you begin going through the various boxes, you are struck by a range of various emotions. Some of the boxes evoke joy, while others may cause tears, heartbreak and sorrow. You are overcome by these various emotions, as you weren’t necessarily expecting them when you began the process of unboxing the past. Understandably, as you go through the boxes that are hidden away with pain and trauma, you are struck with grief. You often cry and find yourself so overwhelmed by the intensity of your emotions. As you cry, you begin to feel tired, and also lighter. You notice that you’re not able to go through the entire attic in just a few, short days. You realize that you need more time to go through the boxes, allowing for space to process your feelings along the way. You also realize that you can’t do this alone, and that you may need someone to support you as you go through all of the boxes in the attic.
This experience of going through the boxes in the attic is somewhat similar to what one can expect in therapy. There are often many emotions and memories that we have stored and put away that we need help exploring and facing with the support of a trusted therapist. Some memories are even ones we have completely forgotten about, as they were of long ago. Some are from generations past and have been passed down as generational trauma. “The attic” takes several different forms and each person has a unique journey of what therapy might entail in exploring the different parts of one’s life. Therapy can help guide a person in the unknown and difficult places that need support, healing, and “unboxing.”
It’s impossible to know exactly what therapy will be like for someone before starting the journey. Some sessions may be lighter, while others may be more triggering and exhausting. After some sessions, one might feel so tired that they need some more intentional time to process and to rest. The therapy journey is different for each person. This is why it’s important to find the right therapist for your own journey. The therapist will be there when you open each box and will help navigate those items with you. The therapist will give you the space, time and skills you need to process those items. The therapist will be your support and guide so you won’t face any challenges alone. The therapist will equip you with the tools you need to continue to go through “the attic.” The therapist will also help you know when it’s time to pause and care for yourself in different ways.