The Secret Ingredient to a Meaningful and Successful Fitness Journey
By Yin Yin Lim, MFT Trainee
January is typically the time of the year that many of us begin an exercise and healthy eating regimen. We are motivated and excited to embark on this new journey right off the bat. At some point however, our excitement and motivation might start to wane–getting out of bed to exercise takes more effort, and following healthy meal plans seems extra challenging. We may simply find it too difficult to follow through with what we set forth to do to better ourselves. For some of us, despite our best efforts, the scales do not seem to move as fast as we would like. Then, we often turn on our self-sabotaging mode for our lack of motivation/discipline.There must be something wrong with me, so we think. Some of us might actually try to punish ourselves by increasing the intensity and/or the duration of our workouts, or further restrict our dietary intake by cutting calories. What’s worse is realizing that committing to our goal fitness regimen seems utterly unattainable! At some point, many of us simply throw our hands up and just call it quits, resorting to our old way of living. We secretly wonder why there are others who are able to continue on with the journey successfully, while we can’t. What do these people have that we don’t?
The truth is that the people who reach their goals and manage to change their lifestyle for the good do not have any special superpower that we don’t. I believe that the “secret ingredient” to a sustainable fitness journey is self-kindness. The truth is that committing to a lifestyle change is not an easy task in and of itself. Otherwise, every one of us would be in optimal health and physical form, and we might even put the fitness industry out of business. It is completely human of us to expect and hope for quick results and quick fixes. The unfavorable and realistic news is that there are no quick fixes for a truly sustainable fitness journey. Besides working out and eating clean, the foundation of a sustainable health fitness regimen and lifestyle change is about committing to being kind to yourself through it all. It takes loving yourself through the ebb and flow, the thick and thin of this challenging and yet very rewarding journey.
What does being kind to yourself look like? It means giving yourself the permission to mess up throughout the journey (or to be imperfect), and to not give up! When you miss a workout, say to yourself “It’s ok, I missed today’s workout, I will just do it tomorrow.” When you eat an extra piece of dessert, say to yourself “It’s ok. This cheesecake tastes so good, and in the big picture, one piece of cheesecake is not going to ruin anything. I’ll just get back on track tomorrow.” When things don’t go the way you want, and your critical self takes the driver’s seat, say to him/her, “I acknowledge your presence, and you will always be a part of me. But at this moment, I choose to believe in myself. I am driving this car now because I am doing just fine. I won’t punish myself. I can and I will get back on track to better myself.” Repeat this process of being kind to your “mishaps” and imperfect self throughout. Self-kindness is what truly fuels your fitness journey and sustains it. You are a human after all, not a robot.
As you practice being kind to yourself while starting new fitness goals, you will want your body to stay healthy because exercise and clean eating will become motivated by “I want to do this” vs. “I should do this.” When approaching health changes comes from a place of abundance instead of a place of scarcity, your chance of making it last is much more likely . When you no longer judge yourself or punish yourself for falling off the bandwagon, you are more likely to keep going instead of giving up. The more you embrace the messiness and discomfort this journey offers, the stronger your inner self-kindness might be, and the more likely you are to stay on track and keep plugging along. In the end, what might be most meaningful is not just the physical and health gains from this journey, but the cultivation of self-acceptance and self-compassion-the embodiment of a new way of being that you discover along the way.