It’s Been a Year
By Emily Phifer, M.S. MFT
Remembering One Year
It’s been a year. Both literally, and figuratively. From March 12, 2020 to March 12, 2021, the landscape of our lives changed drastically throughout what has, at times, felt much like a storyline taken from a Sci- Fi novel, and then some. In some ways, it seems somehow impossible that a whole year has passed since our lives were turned upside down with the start of the Coronavirus pandemic in the United States. And, in other ways, the past year has seemed much, much longer than just one, single, solitary calendar year.
Most of us remember where we were or what we were doing (at least generally) when COVID-19 was first declared a global pandemic in the United States. We remember when schools and workplaces started closing, and emergency orders began going into effect. We recall scrounging to procure masks and hand sanitizer, stockpiling groceries, as well as the infamous toilet paper scavenging (and shortage). Some might crack a smile at the memory of sudden creative bursts of at-home ingenuity and trending ways to make the best of our time during initial stay-at-home orders. Many of us shudder to remember the fear and anxiety of keeping ourselves and loved ones safe, and learning to mask and social distance as the newly emergent, and life-and-death urgent norm.
Taking Stock
When we go through something as significant and life-changing as the past year has been, it is important to take some time to reflect and to think about what we have experienced. At the risk of sounding dramatic, we can also safely say that, in ways both big and small, our lives will never be the same. To honor and process the milestone of one year of pandemic life, our reflections might include: honoring loved ones and death toll numbers of those lost to the virus, reflecting on our survival strategies in the early days and as the months wore on, our creative ways of adapting to the changes required of us, our isolation, our resilience, surprising silver linings, and also, the grieving of undeniable losses and suffering.
Holding it Together
Remembering and honoring what we have been through is an important way of realizing how we have also been transformed. Many of us have buried loved ones, or known others who have. Some have lost businesses and livelihoods that took a lifetime to build. We’ve been sick, we’ve been well, and we’ve grown accustomed to new protocols and sustained hypervigilance. Some have baked sourdough bread, tried new recipes, joined Buy Nothing Groups, planted gardens, or discovered newfound creative hobbies.
We have juggled jobs, supervised at-home learning for children, and survived the general pandemonium of feeling stretched in many directions at once. We often feel like we’re not doing anything particularly well, other than just barely “holding it together” . We’ve been deeply affected and changed by forces largely outside of our control, whatever the specifics of our varying situations.
The Good and the Hard
We grieve our suffering and losses, and cherish joyful life moments-equal parts in tension with one another. We acknowledge both our depression, anxiety and fatigue, as well as our newfound appreciation for simple pleasures. Perhaps we now find a deeper appreciation for life and what truly matters in the grand scheme of things. Duress and hardship have a way of redefining how we see the world, and ourselves in it.
The song “This is Me” (written by Benj Pasek and Justin Paul), from The Greatest Showman film features the powerful following lines:
I am brave, I am bruised
I am who I’m meant to be, this is me
Brave and Bruised
Having withstood the past year of our lives during a global pandemic, wherever we may find ourselves today, we are both brave and bruised, and also– forever changed. We are different people than we were a year ago. We embody important stories to tell one another in honoring our experiences. Let’s take some time to reflect, and to honor our lives as vulnerable and resilient humans over the past year. Attempting to make sense of life and to get through our days during the past year has exhausted us. Be gentle with yourself and with others, get rest, make space for heartache as well as joy. Then, keep putting one foot in front of the other, with the hope of better days ahead.