Grieving the Pandemic; Continuing On
by Emily Phifer, M.S. MFT
Grief is Universal
Grief is a universal human experience, yet each person’s subjective experience of grief during a lifetime can vary so widely. No two people have the very same response to grief. However, there are general understandings and guidelines that can help us to navigate through the murky waters of loss.
Many of us are grieving our global experience of the pandemic over the past year, with many varying ways that we have been individually impacted. Our experiences may vary, but let’s remember, we’re all on the human journey together.
The pandemic has reminded us of both our similarities as humans facing an identifiable foe, as well as our differences- with widely varying vessels, situations, and resources for braving the waves.
Grief is Personal
Some are grieving lives lost- family and friends who have been directly affected by the virus or are fighting it currently. Many have been financially and emotionally impacted, with uncertainty about the futures of business, housing, and livelihood. Some people are grieving opportunities and experiences lost due to shutdowns and pandemic limitations. And universally, we have all missed the closeness of our family, friends and community members to varying degrees, while we’ve stayed apart, keeping safe social distance.
Grief Notes
The experience of grief over the pandemic is widespread, even universal, but our unique subjective experiences of grief matter, too. If you find yourself grieving, as we inch- slowly but hopefully- towards gradual normalcy, you are in good company.
Let’s be gentle with ourselves and with others as we hold our grief, and continue on with finding how to live our lives.
Remember these “Grief Notes” for yourself, and others:
-We’re all grieving on various levels. You are NOT alone!
-People need connection, even if you don’t always know the “perfect” thing to say
-People need space to grieve, but also don’t want to feel forgotten or isolated
-Grief requires time to process and adapt
-We can’t “fix” other people’s grief, but we do need to show up and care
-Getting outdoors for a walk, or just sitting in fresh air and sunshine is clinically proven to help our mental health. It’s a small, tangible health step, when we’re struggling
– Good nutrition and sleep help to boost our immune systems and brains, so we can better cope with life
– It helps to talk about and process grief with others, instead of burying things internally
– Grief is multi-layered and it takes time
-Sometimes grief requires additional support from a professional therapist. There’s no shame in asking for help!